why now? it’s because my family’s been hit with the “tsu-mawi” wave over again! it’s akademi fantasia 3 every day from 10 in the morning till 4 in the evening…that i feel like i want to vomit if i hear another one of their songs!

i have to admit that during the time when af3 first aired, i was a huge fan. one of the reasons was that i thought there were really talented performers that year. i never really agree on mawi winning but there’s truth when adlin said that mawi was the “malay hero” that people are searching for, so i understand the huge amount of votes.

why is the wave hitting again? it’s because he’s finally getting married. i realized that anyone who is linked to him gets instantaneously famous. from her ex-gf to his fiance now. his aura is infectious and looking at a bigger picture, it’s a good thing. i hope with all the cameras pointing at him and all that fame, he could bring malaysia’s name in art’s and culture a bit higher.

so i’m currently hanging out here cause i have a long “holiday” and there’s nothing much to do at home. however, there’s nothing much to do here as well. i’m suppose to help around and be in training or something like that…but there’s not much to do today.

well, there’s a huge freezer here, i think you could fit 2 futsal court. it’s currently stacked full of meats and frozen vege and fish and other items before being shipped elsewhere.damn cold in there…

so now i’m browsing on line, doing nothing. so i decided to cherish my first time being here doing nothing by writing this blog…more to fill in my time until lunch.

1. miss independent – neyo

2. just stand up – stand up to cancer (i figured you dont need cancer to push you to stand up for yourself)

3. rootless tree – damien rice (this is how i feel and about breaking free)

4. she got her own – neyo feat jamie foxx

5. there is life – alison krauss…i think (ost finding nemo)

6. stronger – kanye west

7. red – sara bareilles

by the way i’m not sure if this is the real video clip but this is the only one i found

Embedded Video

Life Keeps On Turning

by Mocca

We’ve come to the final story
All of it has passed behind me
With my smile and now I’m ready
For my next step again

I know I can’t drown forever
I’ve got a life that I have to deal with
I believe that life keeps on turning
And I’m here just to wait and sing
Yes, I’m here just to wait and sing..

Loosing you is not the end of the world
But it’s true that it definitely hurts
That it definitely hurts!

When I wake up in the morning
One smile wipes away my yearning
A message has come arriving
Secret admirer strikes again
And this life keeps on turning

it is easy for you to just drop out from the face of the earth. all you have to do is avoid everyone that knows you, especially the ones you’re close with. however, it’s not so easy on your side. how can you make them disappear? it’s easy to other people to say drop everything and start anew, like my counselor. but how do you just forget the people who was always there with you? how can you forget your daily routines, all that you do in your “past life”?

it’s taking a while for me to adopt a new life, to start everything again but at least it’s going somewhere. my heart however is a bit stagnant. a lot had happened since i last wrote. i hurt the people close to me and i’ve been hurt as well. currently i’m paying my dues for the things i’ve done. i am to leave everything behind. certain things, though hard…but can be done, like my life there and the university. however, my heart’s a bit reluctant to let go the people i’ve met.

in life, there are always ups and downs, fun times and troubled, good and bad, and misunderstandings. i’ve been through all of these with them. that’s why it’s hard to just forget. and it is harder to have to leave them all behind. but the most sad part is that we parted ways not in the best of terms. a lot of miscommunication and misunderstandings were about and i regret every one of them.

nevertheless, i’m stuck here, time cant be turned and things cant be undone. i just wish all of them the best of luck in everything and a happy healthy life. hope that one day all will be forgiven and forgotten. i wish i could just leave my heart behind…because out ofall the things i’m going through now, that one hurts the most.

To accept is to let in

Letting in is to be a part

And that’s how it all begin

Time is of the essence

And the years we’ve spent together

Brought us to a point

That we are fragments of each other

You’re my earth and my sky

You’re a miracle that happened

You’re a passion so sweet

That I refuse to admit you’re absent

Though, I took you for granted

Assumed that you’re always there

That you’ll be by my side

Every time, every where

Sometimes I feel like I’m dreaming

An endless nightmare of you

But yet I don’t want to wake up

For scared to accept the truth

For all that I’m asking

Is a chance to right the wrong

But you’re gone, you won’t come back

And I’m stranded…all alone

I miss you deeply

You’ll always be in my heart

And you’ll be there forever

Till I and the world depart

Sorry, I did not mean to trouble

To hurt or to offend

I know it’s time to leave

So good bye, this is the end

i guess it was stupid of me
to only see what i wanna see
and not notice what is there
that’s so obviously clear

though our time was limited
and memories i could never forget
because finally for all this while
i actually really meant a smile

i admit it’s hard to say
but i understand our parted way
though i just want to make it clear
i really like it when you’re here

so i guess this is goodbye
glad you cant really see me cry
for there is something that stand true
that i’ve fallen deeply for you

against all odds this is the end
thanks for everything my friend
hope that someday you will find
what you’re searching all this time

we departed late friday night, midnight to be exact because some had mid-semester exam that night. the others had a public speaking competition in conjunction with ummatic week. we made a pit stop at kfc on the way because all of us were hungry. with all the dilly dally, we arrived in melacca around 3 in the morning, and to the hostel that we were suppose to stay in at 4. to top it all off, round starts at 8.30 the next day and the bus would pick us up at 7.30. oh god!!! however, somehow or rather, all iiu delegates managed to get ready on time that saturday (for the first time) – even when i had 9 roommates and 1 bathroom rounds were ok…food was ok too, though i have to admit some of it was not enough to fill our stomach.

sadly the next day did not go as smoothly as the first. nearly everyone woke up late. luckily the tab girl for this tourney was our beloved fairuz (who also woke up late) so the rest do not have any other option but to wait for us. nothing else went wrong much after that though. we won the bid for next year’s women’s iv. and our 1st team managed to break to the final. sadly we lost to um1 (catherine, zuliana and rebecca). our 2nd and 4th team got 5th and 6th place…but since only 4 can break, they didn’t make it through. oh well…there’s always next year! 1 thing i realized, apparently iiu delegates eat a lot as compared to the others…or maybe they are just not that obvious as compared to us. we never tend to stop eating. there is always something that we munched on. but then again great debaters need their energy ;p

anyway, some memories from melacca: